I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Randomize