So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
