i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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