how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Randomize
