i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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