Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
