I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
