Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Randomize
