I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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