shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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