Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
