Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Randomize
