drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
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