you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize