she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
We need to rekindle our bromance
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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