so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
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