We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
