You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
