i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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