Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
