No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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