Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
