All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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