her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
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see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
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I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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