It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
