I'm gonna have a badass scar
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize