the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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