haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
