i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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