Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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