Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
