Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize