i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
