BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
