your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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