If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
i dont even know how to be here
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
whose parrot is this?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
