yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
