you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
My vagina is very pro this idea
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