ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
