alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
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I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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