i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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