what day is it and did you see me today?
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize