we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Randomize
