Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.