I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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