the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I will pee on everything he values.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
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