I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
