It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Randomize
