he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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