you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Dick very happy bro
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
