That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
