Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Randomize
