So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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