i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
