D3 body, D1 cock
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
