Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
