A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is her dick bigger than yours?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize