3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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