Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize